ennui

bored, bored, bored. So many things I think I want to do, no motivation to do them. I have all these lofty goals and aspirations of things I want to do, but for some reason I can't get myself to start doing them. Is it fear of failure? fear of success? fear of change? maybe all, or none. I read, read, read, everything I can on the occult, I can argue til I'm blue in the face on Usenet, I can quote obscure references out the ass when asked about occult practices, but I can't seem to get off my ass even to do some fucking breathing exercises. Fucking hell. Stuck in the world of an armchair magician. Somebody fucking shoot me.