thinking...
Aug. 8th, 2003 03:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
masque12Watched Bowling for Columbine, watched 25th Hour. Thinking about why America is fucked up. Watched various Marilyn Manson videos, watched various Bloodhound Gang videos. Americans have no sense of personal responsibility, have an overdeveloped sense of privilege.
"We were raised on television to believe that we'd all be millionaires, movie gods, rock stars, but we won't. And we're starting to figure that out."
-Tyler Durden
Except no one is figuring it out. That's the most depressing thing. Motherfuckers can come right out and say it, but they don't mean it, nobody listens, even when they hear it. Instead of doing something about they start a discussion group, circle jerks for the fearful. They market it, make it a slogan, and the sad thing is that they DON'T have to water the message down before doing it, because no one cares. Lazy pieces of shit, all of them, you, me. We search for answers in clothes, meditation, books, movies, consumption, destruction. Everyone is running away from reality, hiding from it. Blame TV, blame movies, blame everything but yourself, myself. Intellectualize it, rationalize it, anything to distance yourself, myself, from it. Write about it in a fucking LiveJournal.
I know I was raised and conditioned to have unrealistic expectations of what awaited me in life. Hell, they're not even my real expectations anymore, but why do I feel like I'm still reacting as if they were? I seek initiation, Xeper, but do I believe in it? I honestly don't know. I don't know what I want to do with my life, other than to not do what I do now forever. Do I even believe in magic at all? I don't know. I need to get the fuck out of America, see the world, see if the rest of the world is any saner than this fucking place. I'm not expecting much, but a little would be nice. I'm tired of banging my head against the wall of ignorance that everyone in this country is so goddamned proud of. Every time I show some honesty, some compassion, some simple fucking consideration for other people, I get looked at like I'm a goddamned lunatic. What the fuck? How is it that people can be that fucking cold, that armored, that they can't even put themselves in someone else's place for a fucking minute? How do we allow that kind of person to wield power? How do we allow that kind of person to make decisions that affect the lives of millions, when the only thing they can see is how it will benefit their short-term goals? I'm surrounded by dead people, and I have my doubts as to my own mortality. Stimulus-Response drones, focused on the mundane day-to-day bullshit, with absolutely no sense of a larger world. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm no better. I'm sitting here bitching about, instead of doing anything about it. Not that I have an idea of what to do about it, but still. Fuck.
"Slide."
-the penguin
"We were raised on television to believe that we'd all be millionaires, movie gods, rock stars, but we won't. And we're starting to figure that out."
-Tyler Durden
Except no one is figuring it out. That's the most depressing thing. Motherfuckers can come right out and say it, but they don't mean it, nobody listens, even when they hear it. Instead of doing something about they start a discussion group, circle jerks for the fearful. They market it, make it a slogan, and the sad thing is that they DON'T have to water the message down before doing it, because no one cares. Lazy pieces of shit, all of them, you, me. We search for answers in clothes, meditation, books, movies, consumption, destruction. Everyone is running away from reality, hiding from it. Blame TV, blame movies, blame everything but yourself, myself. Intellectualize it, rationalize it, anything to distance yourself, myself, from it. Write about it in a fucking LiveJournal.
I know I was raised and conditioned to have unrealistic expectations of what awaited me in life. Hell, they're not even my real expectations anymore, but why do I feel like I'm still reacting as if they were? I seek initiation, Xeper, but do I believe in it? I honestly don't know. I don't know what I want to do with my life, other than to not do what I do now forever. Do I even believe in magic at all? I don't know. I need to get the fuck out of America, see the world, see if the rest of the world is any saner than this fucking place. I'm not expecting much, but a little would be nice. I'm tired of banging my head against the wall of ignorance that everyone in this country is so goddamned proud of. Every time I show some honesty, some compassion, some simple fucking consideration for other people, I get looked at like I'm a goddamned lunatic. What the fuck? How is it that people can be that fucking cold, that armored, that they can't even put themselves in someone else's place for a fucking minute? How do we allow that kind of person to wield power? How do we allow that kind of person to make decisions that affect the lives of millions, when the only thing they can see is how it will benefit their short-term goals? I'm surrounded by dead people, and I have my doubts as to my own mortality. Stimulus-Response drones, focused on the mundane day-to-day bullshit, with absolutely no sense of a larger world. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm no better. I'm sitting here bitching about, instead of doing anything about it. Not that I have an idea of what to do about it, but still. Fuck.
"Slide."
-the penguin
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-09 11:03 am (UTC)best wishes...